Despite the fact that I know it does me so much good, I find that I very rarely get down to any craft of my own – especially drawing and painting. The reason being, is that I don’t have time or rather, this is the narrative I have given myself and therefore have come to believe.
When I sit down to draw, I like to have hours free ahead of me so I can get lost in this hobby. Time passes without me noticing as I end up in a kind of hypnotic state, zoned out and oblivious to the world – which is lovely. But, the opportunities to allow this extended period of time are infrequent and as a consequence I can go weeks or months without doing anything.
Recently I have seen my best friend and others posting quick sketches they have done allowing themselves only five minutes and it has been incredibly motivating. No, they are not perfect but they evoke a certain feeling of vivacity, of energy; perhaps because of their speed in being brought about. The other thing I find inspiring is that they are shared – flaws and all. I am a terrible one for self-doubt and I write and create far more content than ever gets seen purely because I over-think it all to the point of not believing any of it worth sharing and therefore, I don’t.
So, would it be possible for me to follow the suit of these inspiring people and have a go at daily five-minute sketches, no going back, no time to doubt and posting them to be seen?
The first problem I encountered is one faced by many – the blank page. Just what does one choose? I found myself heading online and looking at vast selections of ‘daily prompts’ and spending too much time reading them and wondering if they would be something I’d like to have a go at, whether I’d be able to etcetera and therefore – once again – stalling.
With my interests very much lying in nature, I thought perhaps this would be the best way for me to encourage myself to start. So I nipped outside and got a small sprig of wild marjoram from the garden.
Sat at my desk, sketch book out and pencils sharpened, I set a timer for five minutes – and off I went. Never has five minutes gone so quickly!
And here it is:
How was it? Well, firstly I have to say – I produced something on a day when perhaps I would not have otherwise. Am I happy with it? Not really, I had to work very hard not to tinker with it after the alarm went off. Perhaps more importantly, what was the process like? Rushed, I felt under pressure; almost panicky; about as far removed from the normal slow, meditative zoning out I normally feel when drawing. But, I produced something.
Will I do it again? I am tempted to say yes but that I will extend the time to ten minutes but, as an experiment, I will continue to attempt some more five minute sketches; maybe one a day. Perhaps it could be a kind of therapy for me as someone who overthinks things to the point of fearful withdrawal. As mentioned above, I have so many blogs, drawings and photographs that I have created and never let seen the light of day due to self-doubt; maybe a little bit of instant public imperfection will allow me a little freedom of expression. But, if I ever get the chance to give myself those hours blissfully away from the world, I will treasure that time; whether I show you what I produce or not.