Winter, Act 2: The Jewelled Dual

A courteous bow

Strut, abreast they walk

With puffed, pumped chest, they talk

All with manners at this early part

While waiting for a sign to start

Full starch, back and forth they pace

Feigning manners and grace, until

With a gentle sloping arch of golden tail on icy ground

The rapier black and brown soft trails to demarcate and bound

Grand stand and boast

In jewelled and shiny coats

Puff and ruffle, intent and show

And it begins – crouch low

Jump high

Feet and legs to opponent’s chest extend

Push and serve a blow, then land to defend

Another turn around the ring

Cock heads bobbed, out-stretched wing

Beady eyes, take size the foe

Scrape low and here we go

A feathered flap, lift hard and haul

A clash of claw

A civilised brawl

A pant and puff of breath from beak

Hangs clouds in frozen air, it speaks

Of old ways, rites and honour

Of settling scores with brutal glamour

But, gentlemen of landed gentry know rules that we do not

For just as soon as battle starts, then it is stopped

The ritual has been played

A settlement now made

Who victorious stands, I do not know

But I watch as side-by-side, they go.

The Starling

Since I bought a new bird feeding station, I seem to spend quite a bit of time standing at the kitchen window looking out into the garden and shouting out the names of the birds I see. (This is to MOTH, I haven’t quite got to the stage of yelling Dunnock! to myself.)

The more time I spend watching them, the more each of their behavioural traits reveal themselves. One bird I have always loved, is the starling. Such bickering sibling aerial squabblers! The rowdy jostling never seems to be anything more than a feathered spat and the amount of different noises they can produce is quite impressive. Did you know, starlings are great at mimicking? From the calls of other birds to car alarms and ringtones – watch out – you have probably been fooled by one at some point.

But it occurs to me, that the starling is not one creature, but two. On the ground and in our gardens, they are shouting, raucous and boisterous but in the air, they become another being altogether. If you have ever seen a murmuration, you will know what I mean. The organism that swells into being from the massed bodies of thousands of starlings, is gentle and undulating – far away from the feisty beasts that brawl over our feeders.

My mum and I often swap texts about which birds we have just seen in our respective gardens, and after telling her of a good starling quarrel I had just watched, she mentioned that her brother no longer saw starlings in his garden, as he used to.

So, here is a starling and poem for all who don’t  have the delight of these wonderful, ridiculous and amazing birds.

 

The Starling

Jostle hustle bustle tussle

Jibber jabber

Fuss and fluster

Squabble starling

Mimic beak

Bicker chatter

Playful cheek

On the ground: clowns.

But in the air breathtaking acts of wonder.

Ebbing shoals surge together.

Balloon, shrink, grow and flow.

Hive mind.

Mesmerised.

I am lulled to stop and stare in silenced admiration.

Transformed starling, flock of feather

A dance of perfect murmuration.

Words

From my mind to my tongue

The words will not come.

From my heart to my fingers

The syllables linger

They fly and taunt as they bend and scatter

I grasp for the sounds that I can’t capture

And I stop. Because they matter.

And I don’t want to get this wrong.

So I try again

I take a breath and begin.

 

But the sounds they swell at the back of my mouth

Choking my speech

Nothing comes out

I’ve got so much to say but I start to back down

I. Just. Can’t. Find. The words.

And it hurts.

 

So I immerse in the verse that takes me away

Feeling the words that replicate my pain

His lips spill forth the things I can’t say

Let him speak my hurt because I have no refrain

There’s too much in my head to order into ink

There are thoughts that I feel but I don’t know how to think

Declarations get stuck.

Questions won’t come.

 

Like trying to describe the remnants of a dream

It makes sense in my head but it’s a mess when I speak

So I let him talk my heart

Let him voice the words that will not part

From my lips

And knowing this

I let them flow from his.

 

He talks my hurt.

He says my words

And I hope that through my mute appeal

You understand that what he is saying

-I feel.

 

From my head to my lips

My words stumble and trip

Fear shuts down the sounds in my mouth

That push against my static tongue –

They press hard but won’t come out

 

I want you to hear all the things that I feel

But nothing comes out and so I steal

His lines

His rhymes

His voice, his words, his song, his beat

They are his but its everything I want to speak

But my sentences break and remain undone.

The words get stuck from my mind  to my tongue.

Shadows

Shadows

Our sepia selves

Anchored by the soles of our feet to our own suspended reflections.

A strange world where I, for once, am taller than you

Or we stand as giants and hand in hand over land we loom.

Like fun-fair mirror glass

The sun makes fun with us

Pulling our bodies out of shape

Stretching limbs to elongate.

Dappled dates are documented with a camera click

Our edges blur as the light plays tricks.

On lazy hazy days or when the clouds demand the skies

Our dusky doubles disappear and hide.

But when the sun reclaims her place and tells us so

By touching gold on all below

We see the dark creep at our toes

And welcome back ourselves

Our shadows.

 

Autumn Act One: How Pleasant the Pheasant

The fields are back to brown.

They’ve been churned and turned and set to sleep

Their crops are all cut down

And there is a frost upon the hardening ground.

Around the pitted edges there lie

The scattered leaves of autumn

And above my head in impossibly blue skies

Birds circle and fall

Chase and call

Fill the air with their croaking cries.

These patchwork pieces that form the quilted land of my home

Are not lost to life these dying days

But are filled with nature’s bright displays

They are the grand ring

And I watch upon the centre stage as the actors all march in.

Here he comes

The most colourful one.

A rusted coat of feathers shimmers from puffed out pompous chest to the mottle on his back

As he flaunts his flamboyant robes of gold and black.

Stretching from his still and starched white collar, his neck of purple and deepest green

Clashes with his red and ruddy cheek

And adding to this eccentric pallet; the yellow of his beak.

He struts

A gilded walk of pomp and poise.

He barks

A grating and ungainly noise.

But it is all bravado and pretence for at the slightest sound

He stops wide-eyed and statue still then huddles to the ground.

Then spooked by nothing more than wind through trees or falling leaves

He bursts forth with a flapping flush

A flap and flurry, a feathered hurry

A chaotic panic and fuss.

But when no threat or danger seems to come

Cautious and embarrassed now he decides the show is done

And so calls forth his court of harem hens dressed in brown

Demure and meek these ladies bob and peck the ground.

They follow in a line behind as he leads them from the floor.

Act one of autumn’s play is done; I applaud but want for more.

 

 

The Burial Plot

The poem I am posting here is one I wrote inspired by the debate around pylons.

I live in the county of Suffolk, a place I think has beautiful landscapes in part because they are so open you can often see for quite some distance across fields, nature reserves and coastlines.

It was as I was travelling from my old house on the coast to the one which we were renovating in a small village in the heart of Suffolk, that I would pass many ‘Bury not Blight’ signs stuck in fields, front gardens and along rural routes and would also see the pylons to which they were referring.

I find myself very torn on this subject. I worry deeply about what we are doing to this planet; the amount we take out of it and just as much the non-natural things we bury back into the ground and sea. It concerns me that, things we do in the name of progress and for the future, could relatively quickly become obsolete and another move that we may regret in years to come.

But I have wondered on occasion what the views around the county would be like unbroken by the giant metal structures that are everywhere now.

I am very lucky to have a wonderful view from my home over fields. Until recently they have been slightly obscured by electricity cables that run through the back of all the gardens on the road in which we live. These wires did not bother me; but a couple of weeks ago they were taken down and it was as they were being lowered to the ground and the view opened up fully to me that it brought to mind again the ‘Bury not Blight’ debate.

This poem is not a comment in either direction on what we should or shouldn’t do. It was merely inspired by the signs and the structures I saw on my daily commute. I remain ambivalent on the issue.

At the time of writing this poem, the pylons I passed daily were set amongst rape fields – hence the reference to feet in yellow and green. I was going to take a picture this year to accompany the poem only to find the crops had been rotated and they stood amongst other produce. Luckily a good friend of mine had a picture that fits ideally and she has been kind enough to let me use it here.

So here it is.

The Burial Plot

The iron men stand.

With feet dipped in yellow and green

Into the brown earth below, their toes they bury deep.

Regimental lines span across the land.

Hard to attention, as giants they stand.

Their job; to hold in outstretched limbs the lines of power

And over our heads a whisper passes every second, every minute, every hour.

They did not march onto our fields

An invading force to make us yield.

We must accept and think again

And know that we invited them.

We hate those ugly grotesque statues.

We detest their bodies that spoil our views.

We scorn, deplore, we curse and scour

Anything but admit that they are ours.

Could we go back to before they were here?

Would we go back to more simple years?

Knowing inside that we would not

We scheme and make our burial plot.

Bury them.

Bury the metal men.

Where once their limbs pierced through the ground

We will tear up the earth and lay them down.

Bury them.

Our aged ideals will lie with them.

Once they were progress, proud acclaim

Now we long to hide them as if in shame.

It is time, we say, to reclaim our land.

To pull them down, every last metal man.

And in deep trenches we will cover their heads.

And there they’ll lie, beneath our tread.

Bury them.

 

Pylons by Lo IMG_0758

Many thanks to Ilona who has lent me her picture for this blog. You can find her on instagram under loney_j and you can find me there too under missjennymaywrites

A Poem for Gardeners in Spring

This is a poem I have written for anyone who feels that urge at this time of year to be getting out and about in the garden and start to clear things away after winter and get ready for the coming year. It is for the hard battles ahead; the fight against weeds and the ever increasing number of jobs to be done. But it is just as much for the exciting times when new life begins to rise up.

 

Defending the borders – Jenny May

 

In the cool air of early morning

I stand.

Stretch my eyes towards the horizon

And I survey the land.

The battleground lies bathed in approaching sun

I shield my eyes to what’s begun

The drone and hum

Summer comes

The ritual continues as it has always done.

Just as we slow and sleep through winter months that make us lazy and hide inside,

So too does life beyond our walls, wait and bide its time.

Then spring arrives

And we come alive

And raise up our battle cries.

Over are the wary glances

Eyeing up who will take their chances

Who will be the first to show their hand?

Will I crack or will the land?

I have scoured the earth over past spring days

To see green darts of life give way

They crumble soil aside as they rise

They breathe new life and stretch to the skies

But these are not the enemy

Nor the bursting buds upon the trees

It is those that lurk below

And veil their moves by starting slow.

They creep, they crawl, they spread fingers wide.

They linger and loiter and know to hide

To wait until I turn my back

Then they shoot forth with their attack.

I gather my weapons to me:

My spade, my fork; my armoury.

I have dressed in muddied clothes of battles past.

My boots are strong to protect and last.

I step out and my patrol has begun

And so it starts under strengthening sun.

Summer comes.

The ritual continues as it has always done.

Nature conflicts with men.

These are my borders

And I will protect them.

 

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