Today I have been throwing CDs in a tree and cutting up an old ballet skirt and attaching it to sticks. No, I have not gone mad, although you may be forgiven for thinking that may be the case. But rather, am currently desperately trying to save the food we are growing from the various birds, bugs and beasties that are perusing our garden menu.
My husband and I are having our first proper foray into growing our own fruit and veg; other than some tomatoes in pots and a few French beans in a trug (for which I will never be allowed to forget that I broke a sweetcorn fork when making holes in the bottom of said plastic container).
One of the reasons we bought our new house was because of the size of the garden and the potential it offered. Due to extensive renovation needed inside, we didn’t get a chance to pay the garden much attention until this year and so now we are at the beginning of what we hope will be a long and fruitful (pun absolutely intended) journey.
But my word – there’s a lot to learn.
We were lucky in that there were already a few fruit trees at the bottom of the garden: a cherry, a very young pear, an apple and two plum trees and even some greengages which I did not identify until they bore fruit. Whilst cutting down a hawthorn and an elder tree I also uncovered what is looking likely to be a red or black current.
But, unfortunately the state of all of these was not so great and the produce very little. The one success was a Victoria plum tree, from which I made several jars of jam but that, sadly, was the only crop we were able to make use of. The wasps got the greengages – the very few there were of them, the starlings mine-swept every last cherry –just before they were ripe, the other plum did nothing and is showing signs of severe aphid damage, the apples grew to small hard lumps before turning brown on the branches and the pears much the same. (Poor old pear took an extra beating early this year when storm Katie brought next door’s fifteen-foot trampoline over the fence and on top of it.)
The only thing that seems impervious to bugs, beasties and weather is the rhubarb – which is unfortunate seeing as neither of us like it. We managed to pawn huge bag loads of the pink stuff onto friends last year, so much so that it is rather less wanted this time round what with several freezers still holding the end of last year’s offerings. I have already had to cut a large amount a couple of months ago and not being able to offload it, turned it into rhubarb and ginger syrup – which I did manage to pass on – thank goodness.
By dint of books, the internet and questioning my more experienced gardener friends, I am learning how to give these trees and bushes the TLC they need and as such have pruned, thinned, cleared around trunks, cut off ill looking leaves and given them encouraging pep talks whenever am doing so – goodness knows whether I’m speaking the correct lingo – I never even got the hang of French!
It is a rather counter-intuitive feeling seeing a branch laden with fruit and purposely picking some of it off, but as I am doing so I remind myself that it is for the greater good. All the same, I can’t help feeling a little anthropomorphically mean about picking off the smallest and weakest fruits so the tree doesn’t waste its energy on them.
We have rather wonderfully been given a present of a new greengage tree which has been planted in much hope and with promises to it that it will be very well looked after.
But what is completely new to us and therefore seeming more exciting, are all of the vegetables we have planted ourselves and brought on from seeds to what are now identifiable foodstuffs. Although too early for most to yet be eaten, we have been (possibly overly) enjoying being able to pick our own lettuce for salads and sandwiches – never has lettuce been so revered as ours!
But the excitement and pride is having to share space now with worry and frustration as we are beginning to see some of our vegetables being nibbled. Beans have been disappearing overnight and carrot tops have vanished without a trace.
And so this is why my previously stated behaviour has begun. The cherry is now, rather prettily in the sunlight, adorned with old CD’s glinting in the sun’s rays in an attempt to ward away the birds. I have used the netting from under an old ballet skirt to make panels of easily movable fencing and old net curtains to make individual wigwams for the next trial of beans in a desperate bid to not lose the whole lot again. The carrots are now glamping with their own individual plastic bottle cloches, bug catchers are on standby and our fingers are tightly crossed.
If you have any top tips for bug and pest control do let me know, preferably without resorting to chemicals, although if the next lot of beans get completely munched I may be in mind to change tack. If I’m feeling generous I may give up some beer to slug traps and will then keep an eye out for any drunkenly bawdy singing birds who may have snaffled some booze-soaked gastropods.
It being our first year of growing I am sure we will make many mistakes along the way. I have learned an incredible amount already but the more I know, the more I look around and see what needs to be done. But we shall persevere, after all, if you can get such a good feeling over lettuce – imagine what a butternut squash could do!
The Novice Gardener